I’m sure that a simple Thank you wouldnt be enough for everything that you (my dearest friends) did for me over these times that we’ve been friends, even we’re far from each other but now I know the meaning that Love is powerfull, it doesnt matter if you’re a world away or live in a different time or place, Love could reach anything and anyone anywhere. I really am gratefull for your love and I want you to know that I really treasure our friendship, it gives me the will to go on and thrive in this uncertain life of mine, it makes me feel like I am not alone and that there are people that are still care for me, love me and think about me, Once again Thank YOU!

Chubby arrived in Jakarta on the 5th of January from Singapore, he just stayed for 3 days, I feel like a part of me was glad he came but the other was sad and angry, coz for all the 3 days he was here, his girlfriend kept calling him and so it was disturbing our time being together when we both know if we could meet again in the future or not, it brought back alot of memories and it hurts so bad, he still hold my hands when we walk and being kind to me and that made me feel like shit, I dont want to feel regrets that we broke up but I also dont want to be reminded on the good times we once had. The jealousy and possessif feelings were intruding and it was hard to stay cool. It was a bad timing he came here, when Im not ready to let him go and the past, I hope I’ll get through this and let the time heals the pain.

Anyways, I recieved lots of Christmas cards and gifts, Thank you so much coz I really love them, I love reading them and it always make me smile, Thank You Magie for the gifts and cards, Holly for the Thinkerbell’s journal and lovely words, I hope soon I could meet you all in UK . Thank You Jori for the SMS-es and the Xmas Card, you’re always surprise me with those texts msgs, Thomas , you’re really so sweet as to send me a big cuddly teddy bear from Sweden, I really love it and it accompanies me sleeping now, Thank You!

Well I hope I wont left out anyone or anything but if I did then know this, my brain is weak and so hope you’ll understand hahaha, I got a very bad memory so Sorry, it’s my fault! but I still love you all and always will. Right now I’m trying to create my own business, it’s not a really big one coz everything has to start from zero, right? anyways I dont have the money to create a big business, I’m trying to sell some tidbits and supply it to small provision shops or vendors, well just hope that it would sell. I am also helping my older brother with his work and I’m thinking to find another job again, I know I havent been succeeded last year and was really down coz of that and stopped looking, but this year, I want to try and try and try again and if I should fall, well then I’ll just have to keep trying again, wont I?

Things have been confusing with me and Mark, our relationship is still long distance and well complicated as I dont know if we could meet someday and although he’s giving me his full attention and makes me his priority, I still feel like our relationship is still at stage 1. There’s no improvement and it goes at a snail’s pace. He keeps delaying coming here and I dont want to pressure him or ask the same question again coz I already know what his answer would be. I believe now that if we’re meant for each other, we will meet and be together soon but if we’re not meant to be well then …you know what will happen. Well time’s up for me.

Hope you’re all doing fine and have a wonderfull new year 2007! I love you and Thank You!

I would like to wish you guys a Blessed Christmas and a very Happy New Year 2007! Things have been hectic in my life and I guess last year wasnt a very good year for me. Although the coming new year seems to be dark and unclear for me, I still cling to a single thin of hope that I could get through it with only a little scratch.

Chubby has found a new girlfriend, I’m happy for him and he said he wanted to come to Jakarta to visit me this friday for 3 days and wanted to tell me alot of things and what has happened, but I guess he wants to come here to make sure that he doesnt have any more feelings whe he sees me again and that we’re over. I heard that his girlfriend is still married and has 2 kids and that she’s still undergoing a divorce procession with her husband.

Anyways, My new year’s eve was nice, it’s a mix of joy and sadness. Joy because I spent it with people I do care about and fun to be with, we joked around when we barbeque the chickens and made “Satay Kambing” . Sad because this is the first time I spent New year’s eve without someone special and I have another 2 friends who were also spending it alone without their husbands. We were looking up to the sky at the same time as the big fireworks fall apart in the sky and it gave us mixed feelings of awe, joy and sadness. I am so glad im not alone though but yes I wish we werent all alone too.

Anyways, Lots of things has happened that I dont think I couldnt write it all as I am in cyber cafe and my time is almost up, perhaps next time I’ll continue my ramblings. But now, I want to let you all know that I love you and thank you so much for the friendship all these times and hope we are all still going to be friends throughout the years and pass another new year!

PS: Sorry I havent be able to visit your blogs, I miss just sitting and read what’s going on in your lives but I guess I’ll have to wait for next time or when I have my own computer.