Wow it has been 4 months since my last entry, I do miss writing but again I cant write long as my time is limited and i have so much to do. anyway let me start with wishing you a late and I hope you spent your Vday with your loved ones.

Anyways, I have a great news to share. After a very long wait (over 2 years), Mark has finally confirmed his arrival to marry me in Jakarta on the 24th of February. I must say Im full of excitement but also very nervous and not to mention very busy as I am also preparing documents to apply for my Visa to the UK. He’s going to stay a little over 2 weeks and has booked a room for us at Park Lane Hotel, He also wanted to celebrate his Birthday on the 27th of Feb with me so im doing my best to be my own small and private wedding planner and birthday planner etc.

I hope the weather is getting better before he comes as it is raining and very windy here, I guess that’s all for now as I have some forms to fill for the visa application and phone calls to make to the Embassy etc. I will try to write again soon, on that note I hope things go smoothly as im abit stressed out already hehe.

Again, Mr.T wrote me another lovely poem, he’s so talented, this time it made my eyes glassy and my heart is so touched coz I really love the words he wrote. I enjoy our correspondence through emails and I hope you do too. So without further ado, I present to you, The Turning Pages:

TURNING PAGES

Yesterday I was tangled deep in this web of life.
I was shorter then carrying weights of the world in my pockets.
I was much more quiet from words lost on a hopeless cause.
My breath, shorter as the veins were stolen from my heart.
My hands calloused and rough, wrenched with worry and grief.
My feet sore from walking towards an uncertain destiny.

Then night unwillingly came not wanting to be alone.
The winters moon appeared like a white rabbit from a magicians hat.
Its light crisp and cool bath me, washing away un-cried tears.
Puddled reflections of scarred memories held tight like a fistful of sand.
Drained of energy I sleep a lonely sleep.

That was yesterday, then came whispers beckoning me to wake.
Slowly the light fills me like fuel to a machine.
Eyes flutter open to the singing of the sun.
More gentle whispers and soon a I shutter awake.
A broad shoulder to lean on etched also from the rain.
Warm rays dried rain from my eyes that I may see anew.
Eyes glistened like pearls and smirks nudged to smiles.
No demands, no expectations just hearts beating stronger in the air.
Clouds pass, time flies as old aches ease.
With the turning of each page I grow slowly in strength no longer afraid to become closer to me.

For Susan

Naki Sky
9/19/2007

Im really touched that someone in the US bothered to make me a poem, it makes me feel special, thanks Mr.T (you know who you are). Why Rain?? coz for those who already know me quite well that I use lots of id or nicknames of Miss Rain and not just that, it’s because I really love Rain and that’s only season I love (not that we have 4 seasons here hehe doesnt matter though as I would choose rain anyway) so, here goes;

CALL ME RAIN

May I call you rain on a bright sunny day,
may the pain of past lovers achingly wash away.
Is it just fate to live in this time,
where smiles from strangers serves as my life line.
To accept a heart then give it away,
seems the norm in this civilized day.
To refuse to dream to hold back time,
to hold back memories that dulls the mind.
Stripped naked these feelings that keeps me sane,
upside down sadness, seems I’m only happy when it rains. (your words)

You take the name Miss Rain to hide your pain,
not knowing the sun’s dried your tears to stains.
Miss Rain - cloudy and gloomy no one cares to understand,
Miss Rain - gathering and erasing memories with a gentle command.
Miss Rain - like sands in the hour glass you come tumbling down,
Miss Rain - never reveals whether it is a smile or a frown.

The wind blows both quiet and gentle, drying your clothes,
while the sun kisses your skin from head to toe.
A gentle touch, but not too much,
as silence smothers sweet words of such.
Slowly the feint scent arrives anew,
whispers, Shhhh! it is I who sent them to you.

To Miss Rain

Always
Naki Sky

9 Sept 2007

Thanks for the 16 E-cards you sent me today, I cant possibly put it all here so I picked one only hehe and I just want to know that you’re so sweet and thank you so much for the Poems and the E-cards.

“Hug you mom for having you today, its actually her birthday - meaning the day she gave birth to the wonderful you” by Mr.T

Connie’s Birthday last nite at Hard Rock Cafe went great, despite my stomach is churning up as I just got my PMS yesterday and I had to sit alot each time the cram attacked, it was fun. Vivi and Connie (the left and middle girls in the pic above) were crazy girls and I love them both, they’re so fun and totally drunk?hahaha. We requested the band to play our song “I’ll survive” and it was a mix of sadness and happiness and again although I wanted to dance with them, I had to dance from my seat “sigh”.

I’m so surprised even though it was Connie’s birthday, she gave me again a gift, she was in Bali for 3 days and bought me a blouse from Body & Soul, i’m so touched by what she did. She only invited few close friends, Ella and Waty but too bad, when she wanted to take a pic, her digicam’s battery is out! so I cant post pics here of our rendezvous last night.

We exchanged gifts and had loads of drinks, gin & tonics and margaritas are popular among us girls and as Vivi said, a true drinker cant mix drinks, stick with one only! hahaha but in the end we gulped anything that’s on the table! I really love the blouse, the color looks lovely, Thanks a bunch girl!

Vivi also surprised me by giving me a creepy doll that can produce a ghost sound when you touch the chest ahahaha, I was feeling like, who is actually having a birthday here? Connie or me? I am really happy that she even bothered to give me a gift, I feel like we’re all also celebrating my birthday, Thanks Vi, I salute you! I dont think anyone could match up to your craziness, drunk or not! hahaha and I salute you after (I think) 8 glasses of gin & tonic, you still can drive home!!!

Today Mr.Postman arrived and gave me a lil package from England, it turned out to be a pair of earrings as my birthday gift from Mark, although it looks bigger in the picture but it’s small when I wear it hahaha but I still love it and so touched that he gave me a birthday gift, I think I cant say enough Thanks in this entry as I’m so full of appreciation, if I wanted to I could write thanks thanks thanks and more thanks for pages, but I guess I shouldnt.

Again, Thank you from the bottom of my heart, you’re all make me happy. The countdown continues…

I’m having a “Birthday Blues” attack, not because I aged another year or I keep gaining weight instead of losing it every flipping year but because this is the 2nd year since I came back from Singapore that I had to spend my birthday without that special someone with me. I miss my dad so much that the image of his face on my mind even though it only took a split second to pop out in my head brought me to tears. I miss Chubby in Singapore, I have to admit the love I have for him wouldnt fade away even though it’s not as strong as when we used to be when we first met, I miss the attention my loved ones, my family showered me, the many presents they gave me, the quick phone call when the clock strikes at midnite and sing me an out of tune song of happy birthday, to me that’s the sweetest thing!

Last nite was the 2nd nite I cried myself to sleep, I feel like i’m drowning into a deep loneliness and sadness, I keep telling myself that it doesnt matter that it’s going to be another lonely birthday but then why do I feel so depressed? I wished that time would pass quickly so I could say it’s over and i’m 29 now and birthday is just a time passing just like new years.

I do envy those who could spend their birthdays with their loved ones, their family and even some could spend their birthday in a frivolous way and spending lots of money to invite friends. I am broke and I cant even cheer myself up by buying myself my own simple birthday present! But i’m still gratefull to God that I still have few who really matter to me and they care about me. My bestfriend Connie (Bless her) has always been there for me even after years we’ve been friends, maybe because our birthdays fall in the same month of September, maybe because we have the same zodiac sign, maybe because we have lots in common, but I think it’s not that. I’m sure we care about each other, our friendship is more than just about having fun when we do have money, but we have tried to be there for each other through good times and bad times, we cry and laugh together, we talk about everything and most of all we trust each other.

Since her birthday comes first on the 11th of Sept, I want to say to my most precious best friend on earth! Thank you for being a great friend, a good shoulder to cry on, to share stories, to cherish memories, thanks for your fun and loving ways that you are, thanks for being you and most of all thanks for everything! I love you!

I’m sorry i’m broke now so I cant give you any present and I trully feel awfull that you gave me a birthday present with the fact that your birthday comes first, but I’ll try to make it up to you next time and so I cant thank you enough for what you did.

Thanks also for my sweet niece who is the only one I think that remembers my birthday hahahaha and she gave me a music jewellery box. You’re so sweet and you’re both really touch me straight in the heart. I Love You.